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THE GUY'S VIEW Think about it, chaps, as far as females go, there are dogs, horses and budgies that are easier to understand. In fact, there are giant turtles, jellyfish and even bacteria that are easier to communicate with than females. And, what's more, if any of the aforementioned were to respond, they would make far more sense than any woman. THE GAL'S VIEW They leave the toilet seat up no matter how often you ask them not to. They come and offer to help with the dishes/ironing/hoovering only when they're certain you've just about finished. They invite their mates round to watch the football on the telly and assume that, if there's not enough beer and food in the fridge, you'll be only too happy to pop out and get more. And as for the dirty socks and pants they leave lying on the bedroom/bathroom floor in anticipation that the washing fairy will magically deal with them - well, let's not even go there!

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Roberto Carlos

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